Heartbreak (AtsuMina)

HELLO!!!!!!

I’M STILL ALIVE!!

I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S BEEN MORE THAN A YEAR SINCE I POSTED SOMETHING ;-;)

With classes and overload of work I didn’t had the chance to write anything! Well, I had this one already finished… but I wasn’t sure if I should post it… but seeing my blog so dead, I decided to do it!

This time is not an smut one… but heeeeey, something is something :p

As always, I hope you like it and comment! (I hope there’s still anyone willing to read anyway) and also sorry for any errors :v

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To the General Manager of the large AKB48 group, it was a normal day. She woke up at 4:30 in the morning so she could be ready at 5 and go to her scheduled works. She showered and ate something light. And by the time she was ready she went to her room and gave a kiss to her girlfriend on the forehead.

She smiled when the beautiful Maeda Atsuko smiled while still sleeping.

Her day went smooth. Not problems with the couple of photoshoot she had that morning, and nothing to report at the AKB48 Theater. So she took the liberty to call Togasaki-san.

After a couple of minutes on the phone, she had what she wanted. Part of her agenda was changed and got a few free hours to herself and her, probably, still sleeping girlfriend.

She decided to walk home, or at least, some blocks. After the ban left her in a park near her apartment, she walked slowly. She liked to take walks, it made her feel calm. Lately, with all her busy schedule, she wasn’t able to go out to walk around her apartment.

There was a park, a few good restaurants and some shops around. She liked to walk around the park; watching families, couples, and kids, young and old people; it was very interesting to her. She could see a side of the people that she wasn’t used to.

However, when she passed for a little restaurant, that had a few tables outside the sop, she heard something that confused her.

-Did you saw the news today? – Said a young woman – Apparently, Maeda Atsuko finally is dating someone!

-Eh?! Seriously?! – said her friend

-Yes! And she’s not dating just some common boy! She’s dating Onoe Matsuya!

-What?! That famous Kabuki actor, really?! Oh, my!

To Minami these words were confusing. “What? Atsuko was dating someone? How could that even be possible?! We’re supposed to be together, right?”

The little General Manager ran towards a near magazine shop and looked around. Finally, she spotted a newspaper and her heart stopped.

10:00 am

Maeda Atsuko was finally waking up from her repairing sleep. After all those recordings for her new drama, she could convince her manager to give her a day off and felt happy when she got a positive answer.

She was still making her own breakfast when the front door opened.

Atsuko was really surprised to see Minami, with a newspaper on her hand, at this time of the day.

-Did something happened, Minami? – The ex-Ace asked

Minami was looking down to the floor, containing her anger, her disappointment and, mostly, the sadness that was turning into tears.

-What is this? – Minami said in a whisper.

-What is what? – Atsuko asked in return, oblivious of today’s news.

-THIS! ATSUKO, THIS! – The General Manager yelled while throwing the newspaper on the floor, near Atsuko’s feet.

Confused, Atsuko slowly looked down. The news appeared in front on her eyes, in big and bold letters, her hands automatically were placed over her mouth making the newspaper fall to the floor.

-I… I… M-Minami…

-Could you please explain me, what does this mean, Atsuko? – Minami hissed – Tell me this is just a rumor, Atsuko… – she looked up, so she could see the actress into her eyes- TELL ME THIS IS JUST ANOTHER RUMOR ATSUKO!

The young actress couldn’t answer. How could the press know?

-ATSUKO! ANSWER ME!

To Atsuko, everything was messed. She was speechless. She remembered that she told Matsuya to wait. She explicitly told him to wait until she and Minami had talked.

-TELL ME THIS IS NOT TRUE, ATSUKO! PLEASE , TELL ME THIS IS NOT TRUE – Minami yelled again, taking Atsuko’s silence as an affirmation.

Soon enough, Atsuko’s blunt words and thoughts were spoken.

-You were never here… – she whispered- You were always so busy…

-What?! I’m not hearing this from you… -Minami was furious.

Atsuko sniffed, trying to control her own tears.

-You could have made some time for me… – she said, bluntly- you could have made some time for US! – She was now getting angry too; this wasn’t entirely her fault –YOU IGNORED ALL MY EFFORTS! I WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU AND YOU ALWAYS TURNED ME DOWN!

-WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?! I WAS BUSY AND TIRED! COULDN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!

-OF COURSE I UNDERSTAND!! I WAS TIRED TOO! BUT I STILL MADE TIME ON MY BUSY AGENDA SO I COULD BE WITH YOU! BUT YOU, YOU JUST COULDN’T!

By now both were yelling everything. Their feelings and their thoughts were coming all in a storm of words spitted in anger

-You could have just told me, Atsuko… I could understand… But, since March?!!!  You meet him since March, dating not longer after that! And yet, I had to know that my supposed girlfriend, and best friend, is in realty dating someone else, just now? MONTHS after it actually happened?

-You were never here! How am I supposed to talk with you?! You were always busy, always tired. I tried! That play – Atsuko pointed at the newspaper- I bought the tickets so WE, WE could go to watch it TOGETHER! BUT WHAT WAS YOUR RESPONSE?! THAT YOU WERE BUSY!

-He doesn’t know you as I know you… He doesn’t … – Minami hissed in anger. She was started to feel desperate.

-And so what?! We have a lifetime to know each other… We have TIME to see each other, to talk to each other.

Minami’s tears soon rolled down her cheeks.

-You are a whore, Atsuko.

The sound of a slap echoed inside the apartment. Both were panting, both girls couldn’t grasp the situation quite well.

Maeda Atsuko as reckless and impulsive as she was, she made a decision right in that moment. She turned around and walked to the room she used to call ‘Theirs’ and started to pack some clothes in a bag she had, for when she had to travel out of the country or the city.

Upon seeing this, Minami, who had followed Atsuko, panicked.

-What are you doing?

-I’m leaving. – was a simple but firmly response.

-You can’t leave me. You… YOU ARE MY GIRLFRIEND!

Atsuko, with a few things already packed, walked out of the room towards the front door; the little General Manager walking closely behind her.

-Atsuko, if you leave… Our relationship is over! – Minami desperately stated.

The actress stopped and Minami gulped.

Atsuko loved Minami but somehow, at this point, her love changed. Upon meeting Matsuya, her world turned upside down and compared to Minami, who was busier and more worried about AKB48 and their sister groups, he was most of the times available. They both had unfinished talks about acting, movies and plays. He gave her advices at times too. He liked the same movies and directors that she liked. He was different and Minami had a point. He didn’t know her, but to the young actress the fact that they both were discovering each other likes and dislikes, that was exciting.

But still, there was something she hadn’t with the young man. The bond of passing for hard times, the bond of supporting each other, the bond of walking together even if everything was against them. And to Atsuko that was precious.

Atsuko tried to hold in her tears. Shaking her head she took a decision that she never imagined she will take.

Maeda Atsuko then, continued walking towards the door.

-Atsuko!

There were no answers.

-Do you love him that much? … – those words were the last thing she heard before the door finally closed behind her.

After the door was closed Minami broke down.  She grabbed the newspaper and ripped it apart; falling on her knees, she punched the cold and hard floor with her fists.

-Why… Why… Why… – it was the only thing that she repeated over and over again.

Her tears and sobs where non-stopping. A scream was heard only by the silence of her apartment. She screamed Atsuko’s name and countless ‘why’s, that had no answer.

The cooked breakfast stayed on the table, waiting to be eaten. It turned cold as the day turned dark.

And Takahashi Minami was left crying, on the floor, with a heartbroken.

A few months after the breakup Takahashi Minami engulfed herself in her work and responsibilities as General Manager and as an entertainer, she attended to as many events as she could, she practiced as much as her little body could, she recorded as many TV and Radio Shows as she could. She only wanted one thing. Forget about her ex-girlfriend and also ex-best friend.

It was hard on her and everyone noticed.

When that awful day the General Manager didn’t appeared at the scheduled practice in the theater everyone got worried. Many members and Managers called her, they even thought about telling about the missing member to Akimoto Yasushi. But the girls convinced the staff not to do it. They would contact the girl sooner or later.

The first one to arrive into Minami’s apartment was Oshima Yuko.

Yuko had heard some of the Staff’s gossips and was clearly confused by it. She tried to call Atsuko but her phone was turned off. Then tried to contact Minami but she never picked the call. So, when she heard that Minami didn’t appeared at the theater she ran towards her friend’s apartment.

She asked the landlord to give her a copy of Minami’s apartment. Saying a little white lie, the landlord agreed, also he asked for her autograph, which Yuko gave him. But once she opened the door, the image she found there was far beyond horrible.

Apparently the General Manager had destroyed her whole living room. The little glass table was broken in fine little pieces, the sofas and chairs were upside down, the dining table was threw far from its original spot and in the middle of all the chaos, the little body of Takahashi Minami lied there. Apparently, after the rage fit she had passed out.

No one could contact Atsuko though and she wanted it that way.

Everyone saw her in the news, talking about her most recent movie; talking about her experiences outside of AKB48; talking about her future projects, but she didn’t give comments regarding her Dating News.

Part of her was like Minami. She engulfed herself in her work and no one could seem to get her out of that state. Not even her so called boyfriend.

Both, Atsuko and Onoe, started to live together a few weeks after the whole breakup. Atsuko thought of it as a good idea so she could forget her old feelings and her old friend. But it didn’t work the way she expected.

Onoe was a good boy, attentive and romantic. He give her all the attention she desperately wanted, he give her days of laugh and endless talks. But to Atsuko, something was missing; soon, after a few months, she started to compare him with Minami.

If he cooked, she would think that Minami would have cooked her favorite meal and not a random meal for dinner. She would think that Minami would have brought breakfast to bed after any of her tired schedules of the day before. Minami would have asked how her day went and she would have stayed in bed hugging her and listening to her, until the time for work came.

He brought her to restaurants too, expensive ones. But, she liked the old restaurant she used to visit with Minami. He would give her flowers, but Minami would have just made her laugh after a tiring day. He closed his feelings when he was angry and frustrated, he was an actor too; Minami instead would keep quiet, but she would frown the entire day, until Atsuko confronted her and both came with a solution.

These little comparisons were starting to make her feel frustrated and grumpy. Atsuko reprehend herself for thinking about her ex-Captain, and yet, everything remembered to her. In the end, Atsuko felt more tired and frustrated than before.

It was inevitable their encounter. It was December and a live show event, scheduled to be aired on Christmas Eve, some of the biggest artists of the year were there. Everyone was worried, their little General Manager was being more nervous than ever before.

Minami looked at the list of guests of that day. One name was making her feel more uneasy than the others.

-Takamina? – Yuk’s voice stopped her train of thoughts. – It’s time.

Minami sighed. Looking to her reflection, for the last time, she promised to herself that her feelings won’t take control of her.

But it was easier to say it than to do it; and it was even harder because Maeda Atsuko was sitting exactly next to her, a few centimeters away from each other. All both girls had to do was move their hands a little so they could touch each other.

And since they were regulars in this Show, the MCs often made questions towards them, just like in the old good times. And it was driven both girls insane. They tried to be polite to each other, they tried to be friendly, but everyone noticed the tension that was surrounding them.

-So, Maeda-san. How does it feel being ‘free’ of the love ban? – One of the MC asked.

-To be honest, it feels weird – She replied with a giggle. Everyone laughed. – I can date freely, but still, I feel like I’m being watched all the time.

-Of course you are! The entire nation is looking at you! – said the other MC, making everyone laugh.

Minami’s hands turned into fists as soon as she heard that, she was the only one who had a forced smile on her face.

-Well, congratulations. We are all hoping that you get happiness! – He made a little pause and then continued – And after the little break we will have an AKB48 Festival! Don’t move from your spot or you’ll miss it!

In the break many of the people decided to drink water, chat or just read the script. Maeda Atsuko decided to go to the bathroom, so she can wash her face and her feelings, and also calm her own heart.

She was near when she heard a pair of knowing voices near the bathroom.

-I can’t Yuko… This is too hard… -Minami cried – She’s there and I just can’t…

-I know, Takamina… – Yuko hugged her tightly. She knew it was hard and she felt bad. – But you have to bear with it, this is our job, remember?

Minami nodded sobbing.

-I still love her, Yuko… -Minami confessed and Atsuko felt guilty.

-You really should talk with her – Yuko suggested for the nth time already. Minami only shook her head, making Yuko sigh. – Don’t be stubborn, Minami! We all notice you are not fine. You barely eat and sleep! Come on, just talk to her! You don’t have to go out with her if you don’t want. But at least, tell her that you miss her and that you want her back, only as a friend!

-That’s the problem, Yuko! I want her as my girlfriend, not as my friend! She is happy now! Didn’t you hear what she said? She deserves someone better than me! She – -A slap resounded on the small hallway of the recording studio.

-I don’t know if you don’t have eyes or you are just stupid, though I’m betting on the second. But, didn’t you noticed how uncomfortable, Acchan was feeling with that question? She doesn’t like the idea of ‘having a boyfriend’. I don’t even know if she has noticed this herself. But, she doesn’t love him, Takamina! The way she glances at you is the same, she is sad and I bet she miss you too! Don’t be stubborn and talk with her!

-I… I… I don’t know… -was Minami’s weak response.

-Seriously! You two are always so stupid! I give up! – She lifted her hands up – Do whatever you want Minami. I’m tired of all this – Yuko snapped at her and walked away.

Minami looked down, to the floor, and cried in silence. Not noticing that certain girl was also crying in silence, because she never wanted this to happen.

After the recording finished that night everyone rushed to their homes. So they could be with their family after a long and tiring day. Only Takahashi Minami didn’t felt like celebrating at all. So instead of going towards her parent’s house, she went directly to her lonely apartment.

Once she arrived home she left her coat and bag on the floor, near the entrance. Slipping her shoes off, she slowly dragged herself towards one of the sofas.  But before she could even reach the living room, a knock sounded on the silent apartment; she frowned. Who in the world would be knocking on the door at 3 in the morning?

She could just ignore it, and pretend she was already sleeping, or go to open up. Her curiosity betrayed her.

The door slowly opened, revealing an unexpressive Maeda Atsuko. Minami’s eyes opened wide, and she fell, her butt hitting quite hard on the floor, when she tried to take a step back and her feet slipped thanks to her bag.

-Minami! – Atsuko said – Are you okay? – Her voice betraying her and sounding worried.

-I… I… What are you doing here? – Minami asked, still on the floor.

-Can we talk? – Atsuko gulped.

-I… -Minami was surprised and glad – Y-yeah, sure… Come in…

Atsuko offered her a hand to help her old friend to stand up. Minami took her hand, feeling electricity from the touch; she tried to stand up, but her coat made, now, both to fall on the floor. Minami’s back collided against the floor and adding the body over her, it made the air leave her lungs.

-I-I’m sorry… I… – Atsuko tried to stand up, failing horrible and landing over Minami once again, hitting her elbows.

-Are you okay, Atsuko? – Minami said near her ear. Making Atsuko blush, she was thankful that the entrance was dark.

-Ye-yes, I’m so-sorry…

When Atsuko lifted her head she froze. Her nose was brushing Minami’s nose; they were so close to each other that they couldn’t react.

Minami couldn’t resist it anymore and moving her head a bit, she kissed the young Actress on the lips.

It was as if the time had stopped. The kiss was short, there wasn’t passion or lust, just mere longing.

-It’s not the same… – Atsuko whispered as she rested her forehead on Minami’s – He’s not you… He will never be you… – Tears suddenly started to fall.

Minami was shocked. How her night did have ended like this? She wondered. She cupped Atsuko’s cheeks with her hands, cleaning the tears with her thumbs.

-I’m sorry, Minami… I’m so sorry… – Atsuko cried.

-No… – Minami softly said. – Don’t apologize… Shhh… It’s okay, Atsuko… -she felt her own tears falling too – It’s me who should be apologizing. I’m sorry for neglect you. I’m sorry for not making time to spend with you. I’m sorry Atsuko… I’m so sorry.

They hugged tightly, crying all those tears they were holding all this months. They fell asleep in that position after a few minutes more. Atsuko over Minami’s body; knowing that when they wake up again, they would start all over again, knowing that they happiness was back on their lives.

Epilogue:

-So… that man… -Minami was sitting on the sofa, the next day, after they woke up, a cup of tea on her hands, facing Atsuko who was in front of her.

-I broke up with him a few months ago, actually… – Atsuko looked down at her own cup.

-B-but you… Last night you said… – Minami was confused.

-He asked me how it felt being ‘free’ of the love ban rule. He never asked me if I had a boyfriend. – Atsuko smirked.

Minami opened her mouth, she wanted to say something, but thinking about it, she didn’t have anything to add, so she closed it again.

They both smiled to each other, while enjoying their tea, in a comfortable silence.

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